72 Hour Recap: Game of Thrones S7E4 "The Spoils of War"

Let's not waste any time here. Another episode of GOT has come and gone, leaving us with only three more before we have to wait another long winter. This week's "The Spoils of War," left us with an almost complete Stark reunion (sans Jon), an epic Drogon battle, and a first date for Jonerys ft. one of Jon's fave romance spots— an ancient fire-lit cave.

But first, a quick look at last week's predictions:

1. I'm just gonna keep saying it until it happens: ARYA AND JON REUNION Still working on this... but Sansa and Arya was nice too, I guess. 

2. Jorah meets Jon and they chat about Samwell and life and things Maybe next week?

3. Dany is done listening to clever men— it's DROGON time Ha! Right on. 

4. Jaime's jealousy scale = 1,000% hatred for Euron Well... I would say maybe next week, but apparently Jaime is drowning in a deceivingly shallow lake?

5. It would appear that the last area Cersei needs to regain control of would be none other than Winterfell & the North... will Sansa make some terrible Sansa-like decision and work with Cersei in the hopes of overthrowing her? I wouldn't count this one out yet.

We open up with the old married couple, Bronn and Jaime, bickering over the former's pay rate, as it would seem a bag of Highgarden gold doesn't quite equal a castle. Jaime makes a few good points about the likelihood of Bronn's castle being stolen from him (perhaps by Dany herself *cough* foreshadowing), and then sends him on his merry way to coax the disgruntled Tullys into giving up their crops and farms to Lannister armies. Aren't they just the cutest?

Then we just have more conniving between Cersei and the Iron Bank, followed by Littlefinger trying to swoon his way into Bran's heart by gifting him with the same dagger that almost killed him so many years ago. It doesn't go as planned, and when Littlefinger throws out a pick-up line about all the "chaos in the world," Bran shoots back with "Chaos is a ladder," (??? Ok Bran, we get it, you're mysterious and all-knowing) followed by a couple extreme close-ups of them having a staring contest with dramatic background music. 

Petyr realizing for once someone knows more than he does. 

Petyr realizing for once someone knows more than he does. 

Then we get a cute little scene of whiplash quick Arya returning to Winterfell, dealing with some knob-head guards, and finding herself in the Stark tombs. These scenes are quiet, and rightly so; no dialogue was needed for the audience to feel the weight and caliber of this coming home party which was literally six years in the making.

Of course, Sulky Sansa has to ruin all the fun, and we get a couple of very illuminating lines between the two sisters that showcase the transformations they've both endured in their time apart. When lamenting over her father's uh... statue builder (?) (is there a proper name for that job?), Sulky Sansa utters, "Everyone who knew his face is dead," with Arya responding, "We're not." It's only a few words, but they succinctly describe the outlooks of each sister— while Sansa's hardships bred wariness and dejection, Arya's struggles built grit and valor. 

"Everyone who knew his face is dead." —Sansa Stark

"We're not." —Arya Stark

Meanwhile, Bran continues to freak out everyone he meets, and then re-gifts his dagger to Arya. 

The lesson here: don't expect Bran to keep the Bath and Body Works candles you gave him for Christmas because he'll just re-gift them to his aunt a week later #eyeroll. 

The lesson here: don't expect Bran to keep the Bath and Body Works candles you gave him for Christmas because he'll just re-gift them to his aunt a week later #eyeroll. 

Now to the real good stuff, aka Jonerys. Dragonstone finds Dany getting a tour of an ancient dragonglass cave, complete with Children of the Forest drawings and story time with Jon. Or maybe Jon drew it all himself. It doesn't end much different than their other conversations, as Dany continues to end their courtship talks with "Bend the Knee." However, Jonerys is totally a thing. Peep the completely unnecessary sexy arm grab below: 

I didn't realize Dany was incapable of turning around by herself...

I didn't realize Dany was incapable of turning around by herself...

And dude, does this stare not scream "I want to be the mother of your dragons," or what?

Their romantic date is cut short with the bad news about Highgarden, and we get a little taste of Dany's growing unrest and rash behavior, luckily softened (for now) with Jon's advice: "If you use them to melt castles and burn cities, you're not different. You're just more of the same." 

Back in Winterfell, Podrick still sucks at fighting and Sulky Sansa gets an idea of Arya's pastimes while watching her win against Brienne of Tarth. 

Podrick, my man, you've been training with her for like years now, why do you still suck?

Podrick, my man, you've been training with her for like years now, why do you still suck?

Happy little A in her happy little element. 

Happy little A in her happy little element. 

The face of a sister who realizes all her siblings are cooler than her.

The face of a sister who realizes all her siblings are cooler than her.

Poor Sulky Sansa... she was probably thinking to herself, "One of my brothers is King of the North, the other one can the see the future, now my sister is an assassin, and what've I done? Oh, right, I've been married three times, once to a midget and twice to psychopaths. Cool."  

Then we get a not-so-nice reunion between Jon and Theon, followed by the realization that Dany is missing aka DROGON TIME. 

The rest of "The Spoils of War" is devoted to Dany taking things into her own hands, bringing Drogon and her Dothraki army to Highgarden. I really only have one word to describe the 15 minute battle:

Drakarus 

Dany real mad. 

Dany real mad. 

This is followed by the Dothraki horde kicking Lannister ass, Bronn injuring Drogon with that spear of death, Tyrion looking on with shock, and Jaime almost killing Dany before getting pushed out of Drogon's flames by Bronn into an apparently never-ending lake. Cue credits. 

Whew! What an episode. Some things to consider:

  • Cersei no longer has the funds to repay the Braavos bank, as it was burned away during the Loot Train Battle.
  • Dany found herself some middle ground— she took back Highgarden without having to burn up the Red Keep. However, it proved more brutal than I think Tyrion expected. Will Dany's first taste of battle blood become an addiction too good to give up?
  • Cersei's secret dragon killing weapon is no longer secret, so how does Dany plan on combating that?

As always, here are my predictions for next week's episode:

1. We're finally going to get some White Walker action.

2. A Jonerys kiss perhaps?

3. Jaime swims away before being captured by Dany; someone's gotta be alive and free to tell Cersei what happened, right?

4. Arya wants to act, Sulky Sansa wants to plan.

5. Bran continues to be socially inept. 

Thanks for stopping by for another 72(ish) Hour Recap with me! Check back next week for more GOT Season 7 & subscribe to never miss an Ace article with Jace ever again. 

Oh, and Podrick, get your sh*t together bro.